In last week’s Sunday Seminar on identity, I mentioned a book by Trevin Wax, Rethink Your Self: The Power of Looking Up Before Looking In (B&H, 2020). He explores how people form a sense of self by “looking” in different directions: IN, AROUND, and UP.
Wax picks up on inspirational yard signs and graduation speech slogans: Follow your heart, chase your dreams, you are enough, you do you, be true to yourself. Life’s main point is to discover yourself by looking deep within, and then express yourself to the world no matter what anyone else says (including family, friends, colleagues, previous generations, or religious institutions) (p. 2). But Wax insists: we really need to rethink this approach to life.
Most people in our society “… look in (first and foremost); look around (for support and affirmation); and then look up (for inspiration)” (p. 16). And yet, throughout history, the vast majority of people have not taken this approach: most begin by looking “around”—by prioritizing community over individual (i.e., family or clan or village or society; the individual’s job is to fit in).
But prioritizing either IN or AROUND blocks God’s best for his people. And neither you nor others can bear the weight of the quest for meaning. Instead, we must first look UP. God’s Word can bear the weight of establishing your identity (pp. 65-68).
And letting God define who we are brings relief! You’re not at the center of the universe—but neither is your “self” suppressed. You’re not self-defining, but God-defined. And as creatures made in God’s image, we have worth and purpose.
“So whenever you hear the commonsense wisdom of the world telling you to chase your dreams and follow your heart, telling you that you are enough and be true to yourself, remember the greater adventure: to be true to your future self, to know that you aren’t enough, but Jesus is, to follow the heart of God, and to chase the dream he has for the world” (p. 192).
