The Peacemaker:  A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, by Ken Sande, is a balanced, helpful handbook for our relation­ships as Christians and for our body life as a church.

As we seek to speak truth and follow Jesus faithfully in a world of spin and lies, Sande can help us.  Here are a few practical insights from the ch. 5, “Examine Yourself” (2nd edition):

• Humility is square one:  “Until we have dealt with our faults, it will be difficult to help others see how they have contributed to a dispute” (p. 91).  Can we see the log in our own eye?
• Sande warns that sinful speech takes many forms, such as:   reckless words (beware of blurting); grumbling (which ruins thanks); falsehood (this includes exag­geration, half-truth, distortion); gossip (“A gossip separates close friends,” Prov. 26:20); slander; and worthless talk (i.e., words that benefit no one).  If you indulge in sinful speech, “your character will be eroded and your relationship with God will suffer” (pp. 94-97).
• On the positive side, the importance of keeping your word is stressed.  Such faithfulness imparts a precious legacy to one’s descendants.  By contrast, “A great deal of conflict is the direct result of someone’s failure to keep a commitment” (p. 98).
• Apply the Golden Rule:  “Do to others what you would have them do to you” (Matt. 7:12).  Would you want people talking about you the way you talk about them?  If not, take it to the Lord and repent, or things will only get worse (pp. 100-101).
• Check your motives:  What desires are revealed by the way you talk?  Maybe pride, greed, or “fear of man”?  Ask God to search your heart for any self-serving longings (pp. 101-104).

Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers” (Matt 5:9).  And so, “If possi­ble, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” (Rom. 12:18).  And peace isn’t just the absence of hostility, but for the Christian it means a humble, joyful, God-honoring life together!